P.C. Shannon

Paris Hilton is a car crash I just can’t look away from; she’s just too damn trashy. Of course I had to watch House of Wax, which is I guess is her big-screen debut. No surprise, the girl can’t act her way out of a paper bag. I will say that her scenes are pretty entertaining, mainly because they’re so bad. I laughed out loud when she was killed by taking a metal pipe to her forehead, which Paris herself described as looking like a big dildo sticking out of her head. That’s class.

As for the movie itself, it’s pretty formulaic and predictable. It has a few gross-out scenes, but the attempts to make the audience jump fall flat. Chad Michael Murray and Elisha Cuthbert aren’t as annoying as I expected. Overall, it’s pretty bad: I give it 1.5 out of 5.